If you’ve been together for a while and the passion and romance in your relationship is fading, then try these fun and easy ways to reignite passion and get your lost love back.
1. Share a bath
One of the best ways to relax and unwind after a long, hard day is to soak in a deliciously warm bath. Just the act of sliding into the warm water and feeling the sensation on your bare skin is enough to start relaxing your nervous system. So instead of making this a solitary sensation, invite your partner along to share this experience. Sharing a bath and being able to relax together is a great way to shut out distractions from TV, phones, computers and even the kids. A soapy back massage is very liberating.
You can use this thirty plus minute bath time regularly to escape the demands of your children, restore lost love and to re-establish bonds of intimacy that can get lost when dealing with careers and family. One twist on this idea is to bring along a large bowl of ice cream and one spoon. It can be very sensual to feed each other something cold in a hot bath.
2a. Go to bed at the same time
If, as is common, you and your partner’s body clocks are on different time zones, and you seldom awake in bed together, then the chances of making love are close to zero. So make a conscious choice to communicate better over bedtimes. Instead of saying ‘I’m going to bed now’ and hoping that your partner will follow, invite them to come to bed with you. Instead of watching any old rubbish on TV until you’re tired enough to sleep, come upstairs for a cuddle and drift off in each other’s arms.
Skip jobs such as washing the dishes or checking emails before going upstairs or you’ll miss the window when your partner is still awake. If you have radically different bedtimes, try finding a compromise, where some days you go to bed a little earlier and your partner stays awake a little longer.
2b. Enjoy a lie-in together.
You can co-ordinate your different go to bed times so that you wake together. Most of us have a certain number of sleep hours our body requires. Waking together and cuddling is a great way to restore lost love.
Also on the weekend give yourself a treat and enjoy a more intimate lie-in together. Try snuggling, his front to your back with his arms around you, and then co-ordinate your breathing. This is simultaneously very relaxing and very sensual.
3. Look at each other more
When talking, couples in love spend a large percent of their time looking directly at each other. As time goes by, we tend to let our minds wander. We think about the mundane necessary functions of living, meetings, jobs to be done, appointments to be kept…eye contact becomes less frequent, even when communicating something important. In fact, our rate of looking into each other’s eyes drops as low as thirty percent of the time. We are prone to miss the subtleties of body language and misinterpret each other’s tone of voice.
While good eye contact makes you seem attentive and sincere, poor eye contact makes your partner think you are talking at them rather than to them. So, at the very least, make a commitment to be in the same room rather than shouting up the stairs.
4. Add some humor
Nothing counters lost love better than fun and playfulness. We often expect our partners to be what we want them to be and not what they are. Anger, resent, nagging, withdrawal all can be countered by simple things such as code names for certain behaviours. The Cookie Monster could be for when your partner forgets to share …. Miss Two Shoes for being judgemental or unforgiving. In the right tone, with a smile, this can be a playful way to keep each other in check when the going gets rough.
When we love each other just the way we are, we can be free to be who we are without pretense, anxiety or shame. Lost love is a subtle process that can easily be reversed with a sense of fun and playfulness.