Having to break up with your partner is never easy, particularly when you have shared good times together.
Sometimes you just grow apart and you realize that this person is not the one you see yourself with for the rest of your days. Your feelings for a person you have shared fun and laughter with don’t just switch off, but they do gradually cool and the decision to breakup has to be made. And, so as not to unnecessarily hurt or cause distress, you should tread a careful path.
If the relationship is of short duration, it is much easier as your emotions haven’t developed those deep seated roots, but your partner may be vulnerable to being rejected.
A relationship that you have been in for a longer term can be easier ….. or harder. Sometime you both feel that it is time to move on and the process is straight forward. However, when your partner is unaware of your wish to move then you do need to plan your words and actions so as not to cause any unnecessary harm.
This is the old “It’s not you, it’s me” strategy.
The most important thing, when ending a relationship with a person you once loved, is that you are sure you are doing the right thing.
All relationships go through ups and downs and all of us have done things to upset another. We invest a lot of time in each other and sometimes a careful analysis of the difficulties may lead you to re assess.
Adjustment and compromise is far easier than a break up.
So if you have decided that you must part, then do so quickly and honourably.
Do not Avoid Your Partner
Many lovers, who wish to end a relationship, will try to distance themselves from their partner with superficial excuses and hope things will just happen. You owe it to your partner to tell them how you feel, and they have the right to know what you are thinking. Explain your reasons in terms of yourself and your needs. Let them talk while you listen. Don’t argue and don’t back down. Ignoring their calls or avoiding them in person is not acceptable.
No need for Accusations
Whether your breakup is mutual or one sided, there is no need for either party to make accusations about the other. While accusations are an easy way of getting to the point, it will not finish in a positive way, and it will not resolve your conflicts either. Obviously, you will both have your respective points of view, but airing strong opinions is best put aside. Creating conflict within this context is unnecessary and unhelpful. Avoid discussing them and what they have done. If you give reasons, they become points of negotiation.
Explain yourself simply
Should you offer a true explanation as to why you wish to break up? Sometimes it is better to be discreet. If you know your partner well, you know what is upsetting for them. Avoid unnecessary hurt. You are attempting to end a relationship with the person you once loved, so you should do this graciously, without finding fault
All talk from you should be in terms of your own needs…”I feel I need to live alone to find myself” “I feel I cannot share” and if pushed, “ I feel like I just have to.”
Make Your Final Farewell
Do not have breakup sex.
Once the decision to part has been made an affectionate hug and final kiss will help each of you to appreciate the reality of the circumstances.
You and your ex partner might have failed as a couple. However, as individuals, you are both fantastic. After you break up with someone, leave with a smile and walk away on good terms.
Don’t be in a hurry to start a new relationship. Give yourself a cooling off period and when you are ready to start again, here are some tips for you.
In the words of Truman, “Good morning, and in case I don’t see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night.