Is conflict and fighting with your girlfriend spiralling out of control in your relationship?
Here is a simple and secret quick fix …
Just say “NO!” and stop fighting with your girlfriend!
I know, I know… it’s not quite that simple to control this strange emotion we have been saddled with.
Anger is an essential primary natural emotion that is deep within us and is very useful when defending your territory or your family.
Anger prepares your body for survival through fight or flight.
Apes use anger to attain and maintain their place in the social order of their group. However, their anger is controlled so that in arguments and fighting, severe damage is not inflicted to the other.
Human children use it to get what they need or want.
And who hasn’t been wronged or hurt in some way and allowed uncontrolled anger to erupt …. but in modern society it is essential that anger is controlled.
If you want to make up with your girlfriend you must have self discipline. If you want to be accepted amongst your fellows, you need to be the master of your temper.
It is so easy to give back more than you get, but lashing out and fighting with your girlfriend will only feed the fire of your anger and the repercussions to your relationship and your health are all negative.
If you’re often fighting with your girlfriend and having trouble keeping your anger under control, here are some things you must do.
1. Realise that anger is not the solution
Lashing out verbally or worse, physically, will not solve your problem. Your girlfriend will either hit back, thus stoking the fire, or become hurt and resentful.
Any benefits you feel in releasing anger destructively are only temporary. Though it may feel good for a little to get it off your chest, once the dust settles, the long-lasting harmful effects are clearly not worth it.
Venting anger has no cathartic effect. The more you destructively express your anger, the more you MAGNIFY it.
2. Channel your anger
Sometimes an expression of anger to your girlfriend shows you are really serious about an issue and wish to resolve it. You can allow your anger be a constructive experience for both of you as long as you can control it. Be angry if you must about expressing your views but then be calm about the resolution. Your obvious anger may have established the seriousness of your views which then may allow the resolution to be a priority for you both.
Note the may!!!
If you find yourself getting heated, to avoid fighting with your girlfriend, pull back and observe what is happening.
Tell your girlfriend that you feel little is being accomplished and that you need time to think.
3. Take a Break
Sometimes the stresses of daily life will take their toll on you. There are so many things to do and rare is the person than can always be calm, relaxed and cheerful.
Emotions can be difficult to control and a bunch of little things can take you to the edge. And when you reach your limit, any small inconsequential event can cause you to explode.
When you feel this inner tension, it is time to take a break.
Detach yourself from your current place.
Take a brisk walk…. some exercise will get your endorphins pumping, find a quiet spot, meditate, reflect on all the good things you have in your life, think of a happy event, listen to music, find some beauty in your surroundings.
Moving your emotions to a different vibration will allow you to disrupt the cycle of anger and allow you to return to a calm consideration of the problem.
4. The simple Secret Trick
Just say No to fighting. It will take a little practice if you are the fiery type, but poorly managed anger will endanger your health, relationships and the quality of your life in general.
Fighting is not harmless. It is addictive and if continued, fighting with your girlfriend will cause irreparable damage to your relationship.
It’s time to get clean.
Go out and fight no more.