In the book, Chapman describes the five main ways that people interpret love … what it means to receive love, and what it means to give love.
Everybody is different, and one person’s love language may not be compatible with their partner’s.
Once you learn these five love languages, you will be able to raise your own vibration.
You will also see and understand what love language others respond to and be able to make them feel truly special and loved.
Remember, most people will have one primary love language as well as one or two secondary languages.
First, let’s talk about using the love languages on yourself.
Show yourself love first, and that will radiate in the most wonderful way to your ideal partner who is out there looking for you!
This is how the Law of Attraction works … you become first what you would love to find in another!
Spend time first on yourself, then think about ways that you can apply these love languages to others.
Here are the main ways that we like to receive love.
Words of praise
This is your love language if you love to be complimented and told that you are loved.
To love yourself, use positive self-talk. Say positive affirmations about yourself every day.
To love another using this love language, compliment them (in public and private). Praise their achievements, encourage them and say “I love you” often.
If you like to be touched often (caresses, hugs, kisses, handholding or other physical affection), then this is your love language.
To love yourself, book a massage, get a spa treatment, soak in hot springs. Clean your bed linens often so you can luxuriate in a fresh, inviting bed.
To love another, hold hands, give a back rub or foot massage, and have great sex!
Acts of service
This is your love language if you feel loved and important when someone does something for you. It can be something as simple as helping with household chores, or as special as doing home improvement.
To love yourself, go out to eat, hire a housekeeper or a gardener – treat yourself to a once-a-month cleaning if you can’t afford it more often. You’ll be so appreciative of the extra time you have for yourself!
To love another, random acts of kindness sprinkled into every day make a huge difference.
Do you love little surprises? This is your love language if you feel loved when you receive gifts. Gifts don’t have to be lavish – a flower or a card is much appreciated.
To love yourself, treat yourself to a gift every so often. Reward yourself with a gift for achievements.
To love another, try giving little surprise gifts “for no reason” and make a big deal out of birthdays and other gift-giving holidays (again, it’s not how much money you spend, but the thought, that counts).
This is your love language if you feel loved when your lover spends time with you – not in a group, not beside you absorbed in something else, but with their full attention on YOU.
To love yourself, make time for yourself in the form of daily meditation, exercise, time for hobbies and working on your dreams – time exclusively for you, doing what you love and makes you happy.
To love another, show them your undivided attention for at least a little while every day. Turn off the cell phone, TV and computer, and “be with” your lover. You don’t have to “do” anything – just “be.”
Once you know these love languages, you will quickly see how people respond when you show them a particular love language. This will make it easier for you to make your partner happy.
And, remember to communicate your own love languages to your partner early on, so that he or she isn’t mistakenly giving you what they would like to receive, instead of what you would like to receive!