Do you sometimes feel like you’re living with a boarder and not a lover?
Have you found the passion and excitement in your relationship intimacy has gone?
Does your communication with your partner consist of mostly mundane matters?
Do you want to connect with your partner on a deeper level?
It’s often hard to sustain love through the day-to-day grind of full-time jobs and the needs of children, pets, or aging parents. At times, tending to your closest relationship can seem like just another duty in a long list of weekly chores.
But if you want to revive the romance you felt when you first met, try these simple techniques to eliminate relationship communication problems.
Listen from your heart
All this involves is spending a small amount of time each day simply listening to your partner.
Yes… really listening.
Not watching TV and being only half attentive while your partner unloads about their work pressures.
Not playing with the dog while your partner tell you excitedly about an interesting conversation they had that day.
This kind of passive, distracted listening has little benefit and can damage your relationship in the long term.
So sit together, look at each other and focus.
Adopt an approach of open, engaged interest. When you’re curious you learn new things about your mate – their desires, joys, fears and struggles. You’ll hear secrets, wishes, and regrets. And you’ll learn practical things like what they would really like for their birthday. Even if you’ve known each other for years, you’ll be surprised at how much there still is to know about your partner.
Show your partner that you love and value them
Once you can replace frequent inattentive communication with more thoughtful curious conversation, you’ll notice an immediate increase in intimacy and connection.
When you do connect, really take the time to listen before responding. Reflect on what your partner has said and repeat what you understand back to them. Don’t jump immediately to giving advice or talking about your own ideas. Show through your body language and your attentive gaze that you have really heard them. Show you are interested in your partner’s life and ideas. It’s important for your partner to see that you are eager to share their experiences and to hear about their feeling and thoughts.
Be present in the moment
When you feel that your partner is really present with you, relationship intimacy will flourish. You will have the same feelings you had for each other when you first met. This re-establishing of intimacy and romantic connection will bring new life to a relationship that has become a little too predictable and boring.
You will naturally find that the care, attention and interest you display towards your partner will be returned to you. As you soften your heart and develop a loving vibration your partner will unconsciously start to respond the same way to you.
So many relationships fail for lack of awareness and lack of effort.
By working on solving your relationship communication problems with your partner, you will see the return of intimacy, romance and love. As you focus more and more on these loving, passionate feelings they will reinvigorate your relationship intimacy. Then rather than becoming another worry, your relationship will become the source of your strength to handle any challenges life throws at you.