Anandi Peters

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Do You Have a Happy Marriage? These Tips Will Prevent Your Break Up

 When people marry, they have decided to go into business as a partnership. Partnerships fail and so can a once happy marriage.

Why?

Answer is ….well… lots  of reasons.

One is that some people are just darn hard to get on with. Sometimes people just aren’t ready for a serious relationship and sometimes  …………..

There’s a saying that tells us true love is unconditional.

That may be true, but in a healthy, happy marriage, love is never unconditional.

This means that in order to maintain a happy marriage with your partner, each of you has obligations, and certain conditions must be met.

Surprisingly, some couples come up with so many reasons to break up and then move from one unhappy relationship to the next.

If your relationship is in trouble, consider the reasons why. Then decide if you are prepared to put in the effort to overcome the difficulties and annoyances. Think back to the time you met. What attracted you to each other? What made your heart beat faster? What did you do then that you don’t do now?

There could be an element of familiarity breeding contempt….a taking of each other for granted that slips sneakily and destructively into any relationship, but positive thought, awareness and effort will overcome.

In a troubled marriage, ask yourself “Am I prepared to do what it takes?”

 Follow these 9 tips to a happy marriage…

Selfishness

Preoccupation with your own needs is a recipe for disaster. Are you in the “What about me mindset”? Have you become the needy one? That can be exhausting and frustrating for your partner. Observe yourself and your actions and see if you have become demanding to the point of relationship disaster.

Honesty

While there are some secrets that can be kept to yourself, you must strive hard to tell your partner everything about yourself and your thoughts. That sometimes means some hard truths. Your partner may have become the needy one and is driving you to distraction. Get angry? No. Be honest and share your thoughts. Honesty means you can express your views in a calm way and your partner will listen and so will you. And this leads to probably the most important foundation block of every relationship.

Communication

All those mentioned above aren’t possible if there is no consistent communication between husband and wife. Â happy couple will never get tired of talking to each other in order to build a long lasting relationship. Say “Good morning” for each day waking up, “Bye Honey” as you depart, throw in an “I love you” every so often for good measure and don’t forget the good night hug before going to bed. And preferably, sleep in the same bed waking up to a nice cuddle every morn.

Greetings and appreciations are sweet nothings, but they carry a lot of weight in a long lasting relationship.

Communication is comprised of appreciation, greetings, arguments, laughter, and sharing of problems and sentiments. It is the perfect recipe and the most crucial reason why couples will be happy, content and together for their entire lifetime.

Trust

Building up trust in each other is a gradual process that allows each of you the freedom to pursue activities and interests together and apart. It is essential to honour that trust with appropriate behaviour.

If a partner begins to doubt and distrust the other, the relationship is on rocky ground and needs attention.

Forgiveness

We are human and full of imperfections and weaknesses. Trust can be betrayed. Now is the time for forgiveness. Here we are on very thin ice as it does not take many breaches to cause irreparable damage. Remember, once bitten…twice shy!  If you are a habitual betrayer, you will finish up a lonely soul.

Vive la difference

In the early years of a relationship you have common interests and desires. You are very open and accepting of each other. With time, you develop your individual aspects and can grow apart. Women have children and men careers. You can become self engrossed and critical of each other. Differences are actually the glue that binds a relationship. The secret is just to see the positive aspect in these differences.

Be aware of these changes and communicate your feelings to each other. Human lives are full of contrast. There is good and bad, sad and happy, joy and sorrow, day and night. Without these, life would be …well… boring. The challenge for you is to be aware and cope with change.

Be together… Be apart

While it is true that spending time with each other is a must for a happy, working relationship, it is equally necessary to give your partner time to be alone. A relationship comes with responsibilities and duties and can be, at times, a burden. So in order to loosen things up, give each other time to go out alone. Chill and enjoy the stuff both of you want, free from the responsibilities of the relationship.

Maintain your pride

Not only in yourself but in your partner. Delight in the qualities you admire in your partner and don’t be bashful about sharing them with your friends. Take pride in yourself by keeping yourself well groomed and in good health. Just because you have a mate doesn’t give you license to downgrade. If you  maintain yourself, your romantic life is likely to also be maintained.

Romance … Intimacy

This area is one of the most common areas where relationships fail because romance can wither as the years go by. Life’s responsibilities get in the way and it can be hard to get in the loving mood. Your needs start to differ and frustrations result. Communication is essential and both of you have to make efforts in this area. Romantic getaways are essential…just the two of you!

Long lasting relationshipRelationships that last, are founded on the idea that love never fades. When it comes to ensuring that you have a  long lasting and happy marriage, there are times when you will just have to stoke the fire that started back when.

One thought on “Do You Have a Happy Marriage? These Tips Will Prevent Your Break Up

  1. Not only in yourself but in your partner. Delight in the qualities you admire in your partner and don’t be bashful about sharing them with your friends. Take pride in yourself by keeping yourself well groomed and in good health. Just because you have a mate doesn’t give you license to downgrade. If you maintain yourself, your romantic life is likely to also be maintained.

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