A happy and harmonious long term relationship is achieved in many ways.
It requires not only compatibility in more than one area, but also in effective communication and conflict resolution skills.
Sharing values has often been stated as one of the most important things in common for a relationship to work, but new research on singles in Australia by dating site eHarmony shows that it’s not sexual compatibility or even chemistry that men and women rank as the most important quality in a partner for a long term relationship.
It’s relating to one another, enjoying each other’s company, feeling close, trusted respected and importantly, that while in a relationship you aren’t only lovers, but friends, too.
It’s the emotional bond, and emotional safety and intimacy felt along with chemistry that will give a relationship the successful edge.
It’s generally acknowledged that men rate physical appearance more than women do, but even so, it doesn’t even make the top ten when ranking the most important qualities when looking for love.
In part, this is perhaps because while men value a healthy sex life, they also know that with solid foundations like friendship, intimacy and chemistry, aspects such as sexual compatibility can be negotiated.
The most important qualities listed by men and women when looking for love were –
Enjoying the way you feel around each other
Being open about how you feel about each other
Being able to talk about personal problems
Being able to discuss feelings for each other
The sexual intimacy in a relationship may come and go but it can be reignited if you like and love one another,
If you only lust after each other and there’s not much love and really not a lot of like shared between you, then when the lust goes, there’s nothing left.
Liking one another is vital if you want to relate to one another day in and day out, year after year.
So don’t just focus on the night time activities as the key to making things work. Find a friend who makes you feel great and inspires you to be the best version of yourself, and then make them your lover.
And don’t forget to work constantly on all the other communication compatibility qualities.
This is a better way to develop sexual compatibility for a lifetime together.