Anandi Peters

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How to Appreciate Your Ex – Even if You Don’t Like Them

I appreciate you

Appreciation is one of the most powerful high-vibrating practices you can have.The simple phrase ‘I appreciate you’ has a way of transforming adversity into a benefit, and annoying people into blessings. Really!

We all have people in our lives we don’t like.

Maybe we dislike them without knowing why – just a “vibe” they put off. Maybe there’s a really good reason. They may have betrayed you in a past relationship. In either case, it doesn’t help you to harbor negative feelings toward anyone, especially your ex. All that does is drag you down and lower your vibration.

Here are 3 things you can do that will help you to appreciate ALL people in your life, no matter who they are or what they have done.

1. Choose to focus on the good.

It’s easy to zoom in on a person’s bad qualities, but in most cases, if you try, it’s just as easy to spot good qualities. Do yourself a favour and try. Nobody is born “bad” or “evil”… or a drama queen or a depressive downer. We are all born filled with love! It’s only a person’s life experiences that make some people act out their inner pain, or to acquire traits that others find obnoxious. If someone has become disconnected from this original loving state, they don’t need your condemnation or hate.

Remember, that negative energy only brings you down! Instead, send them compassionate, loving vibrations. Wish love for them. Say I appreciate you, silently to them. You don’t have to condone their behaviour, fix them and you don’t have to have them in your life. Sending your loving thoughts to them is enough. That helps them (remember, they’re acting from a place of pain, not love) and it helps you by raising your vibration. Think of it as “rising above it.” Energetically, that’s what you’re doing! Be grateful for how your interaction has helped you become more aware and compassionate.

2. Ask yourself why you don’t like this person.

If there’s been no action or words against you you’re the one choosing to feel a certain way about them, and it’s a clear clue to something inside you. Often, people are mirrors to you in some way. Maybe you exhibit a similar trait; maybe their behaviour is alerting you that there’s something you could improve in yourself. Look past the trait or behaviour and identify why it bothers you so much. Then, instead of wishing they would change, raise your vibration by being grateful that this was brought to your attention, and work on improving yourself.

3. Set and uphold your boundaries.appreciation

If you don’t make your boundaries clear, you have absolutely no right to become upset when someone crosses them. Nobody is a mind reader! State your boundaries clearly, respectfully and kindly about what is acceptable and what isn’t. Never hold back being clear about your boundaries for fear of not hurting someone else’s feelings. Think about why you think that person’s feelings are more important than your own!

Whatever vibration you put out will come back to you. If you vibrate love and appreciation, you’ll naturally start to see others with compassion, understanding and tolerance. This alone will make many behaviours and traits far less annoying  than if you are looking through judgmental eyes.

If someone has hurt you, can you can find the silver lining in what happened?

Perhaps you learned how not to treat employees, or you learned how not to break up with someone, or that your ex was not the person for you – then you can be grateful for how this situation has made you grow.

You may still not want to hang out with these people. You may still prefer not to have anything to do with them. And that’s fine.

But being able to say “I appreciate you and all I have learnt from you” will release you from the energetic burden of carrying around negative feelings and thoughts about them!

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