Anandi Peters

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How to Let Go Hurt From a Past Relationship

let go hurt Have you heard the story of the two monks?

Two monks were making a pilgrimage to a holy site. During their journey, they came to a river. On the riverbank, they met a beautiful young woman who needed to cross the water. The woman begged the two monks to carry her across, as she couldn’t swim. The younger monk immediately refused. He had taken a solemn vow never to touch a woman. He would not break his vow, no matter what. He turned away in disgust. But without hesitation, the older monk picked up the young woman, hoister her onto his shoulders, waded across the river and put her down on the opposite bank. The young woman thanked the monk and went on her way.The monks resumed their pilgrimage. The older monk was cheerful and chatted happily as they walked. However, the younger monk was still angry that the elder monk had broken his vow. He walked in sullen silence and refused to enjoy the journey. Finally, the younger monk couldn’t keep silent anymore. He burst out angrily, “Brother, I am ashamed of you! We took a solemn oath never to touch a woman, and not only did you touch the woman at the river but you carried her on your shoulders!” 2 monks

The older monk looked at him with compassion. “Brother, I set the woman down on the other side of the river. You have been carrying her ever since.”

This story is a wonderful reminder of the importance of letting go of hurt … guilt, grudges, regret, anger and shame.   
These are feelings and thoughts which you may carry with you from a past relationship … but for what benefit?
All these burdens do is intrude in your future relationships and keep you from enjoying the present moment.

Releasing this heavy negative energy is quite simple. And you can do it with gratitude and forgiveness.

 Try this daily practice:

1. During meditation, or when you’re busy with a mindless task like laundry or dishes, think of a someone you love and silently say, “I love you.”

Next, give thanks. Thank that person for being part of your life. Be specific and think of all the good things that person has brought to your life.

2. Think about people that are a positive part of your life and how much better your life is because of them.There may be folk that have entered your life through a brief moment of kindness. Thank them.

3. Next, think about the people who cause you irritation.

Think about someone who causes you to become upset when they enter your thoughts. This may be a recent hurt from a relationship.

At this point of the exercise, think deeply.

Consider the fact that these people bring something to your life even though your encounters with them leave you with unpleasant memories.

Dig deeper and think about how you have changed as a person because of them. All our interactions with others help us to grow as individuals.

If any of these people wronged you, or harmed you, forgive them.

You don’t have to condone their behavior.

Just release the anger or hurt you are carrying by being compassionate to the fact that their actions came from a place of pain within themselves.

4. Now consider yourself.

If you have wronged someone, and which of us is blameless, forgive yourself for acting out the pain in your own heart. Focus on letting go of hurt.

This exercise of forgiveness can be done whenever you feel anger or irritation.

Keep going with these thoughts until you feel a loving, peaceful feeling come over you.

Forgiveness is an act of cleansing.

All of us at one time or another have done things based on our own inner pain and as we forgive others, we can also forgive ourselves.

We can never undo what has been done but we certainly don’t need to carry this intrusive baggage around with us to clutter future relationships.

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