How is your marriage going?
Do you worry about the little things that creep in and cause arguments in your relationship?
Do you imagine things not turning out the way you want?
Do you go over and over things in your head?
All this worry not only takes a lot of energy but it also creates stress in your body which requires your nervous system to work overtime. This decreases resilience and leaves you vulnerable to sickness.
Being in charge of your emotional response rather than being at the mercy of your circumstances makes a huge difference in your life and your relationships.
By consciously making yourself feel centred, loved and calm you will become so.
According to Rachel Anastasi –founder of Free to be Me Life Coaching, human beings have a tendency to worry when they project into the future. When they imagine things not going the way they want they become fearful. Feelings of failure are self created and cause anxiety. Worry is our attempt at controlling the future. We think that if we go over and over scenarios in our mind, we may be able to plan for failure and thus avoid it. We make a mental effort to ensure that things go as we would like.
So what’s the solution?
Start living in the present.
Have you ever noticed that when you imagine things going exactly as you want, the anxiety disappears? This is where the power of being in the now is so important. When you are focused on the current moment and avoid thinking about the past or the future, you are more able to enjoy your life as it is happening.
When you notice how you are feeling, you can also notice how you automatically want to react. You can then decide whether reacting would be in your best interests or not. You also then have the ability to change your reaction to a more heart based one.
This can have profound effects on your marriage in many positive ways. Instead of snapping at your spouse when you walk in after a hard day at work, take a deep breath and let go the thoughts of the past few hours.
Be aware of how you are feeling – tense, frustrated overwhelmed?
Just by being aware of how you are feeling gives you the ability to now change these feelings.
Imagine the difference in your partner’s response if you walk in the door with a large smile on your face and a happy greeting. You have the ability to control each interaction in your relationship by how you are feeling.
There are times a partner’s comments may cause you to bristle and become defensive..you can change your feelings and your response.
If you want more harmony, happiness and love then these are the emotions you need to be feeling yourself.
Worrying about your marriage problems is pointless and counter productive but relatively easy to turn around. All it takes is a willingness to stop and become aware of how you are feeling. Then a desire to feel better. And then act accordingly. Your marriage doubts will soon disappear.