When you are in a long term relationship, marriage issues will certainly appear.
You may notice a few idiosyncrasies cropping up in your partner.
When couples first get together in a budding romantic union, those idiosyncrasies are considered charming and our ability to overlook much is hallmark to the signs of any new relationship.
You recognize that the blush on the petal of the romance rose has begun to draw new color of maturity when certain things take on new meaning.
We all know about the common marriage issues, the irritation of sharing bathrooms … habits with toilet seats and toothpaste tubes. But what about the behaviors that you don’t quite know how to address…. those ones that make you feel a bit uncomfortable.
These are feelings that you can’t quite name but you certainly acknowledge as real, creeping into the room and now casting shadows on what you once considered bliss.
Webster Dictionary defines idiosyncrasy as an unusual way in which a particular person behaves or thinks. And when new behaviors crop up in our partners which we don’t quite understand, it can be awkward on how to address these. I specifically speak to mannerisms perhaps related to the aging process in some. You see, I am a younger woman married to a much older man, 26 years to be exact.
There’s been many life lessons learned in these past thirteen years together, ones that I cherish for their value in shaping the person I am today. Some of these lessons have been pleasant, others painful, but all our marriage issues have held deep nuggets of wisdom and personal growth. It is rather interesting to notice how the most significant decisions we make in life don’t come with warranties. And yet it is in these moments when we step into those decisions that we afford ourselves the opportunity to move into the unknown and allow ourselves the experience of finding out something new.
There was a favorite line I heard in a Hollywood movie about marriage issues. “Marriage is about being a witness to the life of another”. And as the years roll by, I find myself keenly aware as I witness my husband’s life moving into another era, that of being an octogenarian.
The young woman in me often wants to run away as many times witnessing changes in other’s lives isn’t comfortable. The tender lines of confrontation one does not cross as they watch someone move through life’s aging process. The awkward moments ever increasing as the generational gap widens. The stresses on the relationship not because of anything particular, just misunderstandings.
I find myself wondering if the coin was turned, would I wish for some compassion and understanding to forgive my own idiosyncrasies.
We don’t have to fully understand one another, but I can look within and appreciate the life that we all represent.
Perhaps we are at one end of life’s flame with the enthusiasm of youth, or at the other where reflection and remembrance burn more brightly.
What matters most is that we are all here journeying together.