Anandi Peters

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Stop Your Relationship Turmoil With This Beginner Meditation Technique

Stop your relationship turmoil with this beginner meditation techniqueStressed about your relationship?

Do you find unpleasant thoughts going round and around in your head?

When was the last time you stopped to smell the roses, enjoy a moment of complete calm, unburdened with worries about your partner, work or finances?

It may be hard to imagine ever fully being in the present, without niggling doubts about the past, or fears for the future creeping in.

But this calm state is possible.

Can you take 10 minutes out of your day where you can be alone and undisturbed?

Just ten minutes a day will work wonders for your stress levels and everyday emotional turmoil.

Meditation is such an easy technique to learn and all it takes is a bit of practice, just like any other skill you might want to learn.

Your mind won’t automatically stop when you sit down to meditate. Like a road is built to carry cars, your mind is designed to carry thoughts.

When you first start to meditate there is often a temptation to try to control the traffic of your thoughts.

There can be lot of resistance to controlling your negative thoughts and engaging with positive ones. We are hardwired into facing our problems with thoughts and self judgement. This can set up a constant mental battle and lead to guilt, loss of self esteem and mental turmoil.

With meditation, you learn to watch these thoughts come … and go … to just witness the thoughts coming and going. When this happens the mind responds and the number of thoughts gradually decreases until there are more and more periods of peace.

Many people give up in frustration when they start to meditate because their mind is full of thoughts and they try too hard to stop these thoughts. But why should your mind immediately stop thinking just because you sit still and start meditating? It’s been busy all day, so you need to slowly bring it to rest.

Some people think that through meditation, a state of mind or a space of no thought will be created. But that actually isn’t true. If you get in a plane and fly up through the clouds, on the other side is blue sky. The essence of the mind is like the blue sky, it’s always there. It’s just that we get so caught up in the clouds of our thoughts that we forget the blue sky beyond..

Meditation is allowing the clouds to part to reveal what’s already there.

Meditation is rediscovering that endless, peaceful blue sky.

Practice for meditation;

Getting ready

Find a place to sit down comfortably, with a straight back.

Checking in

1. Gently close your eyes. Take five deep breaths, breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth.

2. Focus on the physical sensations of your body on the chair and your feet on the floor.

3. Scan down through your body and notice which parts feel tense and which parts feel relaxed.

4. Be aware of your feelings. What sort of mood are you in right now.

Focussing your mind

1. Notice how each breath feels and observe it’s rhythm. Is it long or short, deep or shallow, rough or smooth?

2. Don’t try to change it, just observe.

3. Gently count the breaths as you focus on the rising and falling sensation to a count of ten.

4. Repeat this cycle between 5 and 10 times or as long as you have time available.

Finishing off

Let go of any focus at all, allowing your mind to be as busy or as still as it wants to be for 30 seconds

Bring your mind back to the sensation of your body on the chair and your feet on the floor.

Gently open your eyes and stand when you feel ready.

 

 

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