Have you recently gone through a break up and are now looking to start again in the dating scene?
One very important first date tip I’d like to give you is to be yourself.
Too often we try to impress others with a stretching of the truth.
Who has never told a lie?
I think at some time we all have and that is the truth.
But one lie tends to become more and gradually these lies degrade your ability to be a genuine, loving person.
Just as being sincere helps to attract sincerity, so does being honest attract honesty.
If you distort the truth, even about little things, you are placing barriers between yourself and those that might be a good match for you romantically.
When you do not tell the truth, and express yourself openly and honestly, you are distancing yourself from others even if they do not realize that you are being dishonest.
If you get caught in a lie, that makes it even harder to attract a loving relationship into your life. You have shown yourself to be a liar, one that cannot be trusted. And while that might not end a relationship, it allows mistrust and uncertainty to enter your relationship. You have set the precedent and opened the door for your partner to also lie.
Learning to be truthful was a long battle for Shawn who had come to me for help. He had no desire to be dishonest, but he felt that he and his life were just not interesting enough to attract any girl. Why would any girl want to be with such a boring man he thought to himself. So he had embellished his life and career. He became the “life of the party” and told anyone who listened about his amazing life and adventures. But this is really not what others want to hear. Most of us have an inbuilt lie detector and Shawn found his life did not improve. In fact he found he had even fewer friends.
His make believe life came to a halt when he met Lisa.
Lisa knew Shawn from the club scene and had come to realize that he was a bigmouthed phony who was desperate to impress everyone. She decided to call his bluff.
So, one night when Shawn was telling his tall tales again, Lisa queried a story he told and exposed him for the pretender he was.
Red-faced and embarrassed, Shawn hurried off and escaped to his home.
He had never felt this bad and he realized the mess he had made of his life.
He felt tormented and took time off work to re assess his life.
Sometimes a little honesty from friends can work wonders.
I suggested a simple meditation technique that he should use to clear his mind and touch base with himself and his deeper values.
He began to develop a sense of honesty in his life.
He started to appreciate and take joy in simple pleasures; a sunny day, birdsong, an evening stroll through the park. He unravelled his fictitious persona, observed his feelings and thoughts and found so many things in his life that were good.
As his sense of gratitude and appreciation broadened, Shawn noticed that different people had entered into his life and that these people were kind and beautiful, the kind of people that he had always wanted to find for his life. He found he talked less about himself…there was so much else to talk about.
He eventually went back to the club of his former embarrassment and met up again with Lisa. She nodded and they talked about the true stories of his new life. She smiled and he smiled. He did not have to worry about keeping his stories straight anymore; they were his stories of his life and they were true.
There are many date tips I can pass on to you but, frankly speaking, being honest and true to yourself and others is the most important. Honesty and trust are the foundation blocks of every lasting relationship.