Anandi Peters

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What Do You Do If Your Girlfriend Is Having An Affair?

What do you do if your girlfriend is having an affairLoving somebody with passion and devotion usually raises expectations of reciprocal feelings.

Unfortunately, this is not always the case.

You may have to deal with the fact that your partner is having an affair.

While the realization will be heart breaking and often extremely painful; you will have to cope with it.

First, make sure of the facts.

Men often flirt with females without any intention of a relationship developing.

Women are also prone to this and if it is fun and goes nowhere it is harmless…just a boost to the ego.

Sometimes, people indulge in casual affairs to break the monotony in their romantic lives and add a little spice. Such affairs may not be serious and may not progress beyond a couple of dates and movies.

You might be told that your partner is having an affair by your colleagues, family or friends. Before you jump into any conclusions, remember that friendship and having fun can be easily misconstrued as something that it’s not.

While getting information in advance is of great help, you should not base your judgment around what other people think or speculate.

The essential thing to do is to communicate with your partner and find out how serious things really are. You can spend futile weeks worrying about what might be happening and it’s better to face the truth sooner than later. You might think that asking questions may seem like you doubt your partner’s love for you. In reality, it will give you peace of mind and put your concerns to rest one way or another. Just stay calm and don’t start accusing your partner before you have all the facts.

How can you tell if she has gone beyond innocent flirting?

There are signs…

The warmth in your relationship has chilled.

She will be less available and be harder to contact

There will be reduced interest in going out together

Physical intimacy will be restricted

Most females aren’t interested in having several beaus at the same time so she may be in the thinking of moving on stage, so there are two things that can happen

  1. You can restore your relationship
  2. You can let her go

AdventureTo bring back the love, you have to show her that you are the one for her. You have to do things that make her want you as her partner…things such as be warm and welcoming, thoughtful and communicative. Take her out and share things, be they meals, movies or adventures. A mountain climb or something challenging and shared is a great way to bond again.

However, if she does not respond to your efforts, you have to be prepared to move on.

Realize that some relationships are trial fun runs for the serious one to come so sit down and talk. Be open and declare your intentions, not angrily but practically. You can ask her what has made her distant and what her intentions are.

When a relationship hits a rocky patch, you may not be in the right frame of mind to work on it together. If your partner confesses to the affair and you find the thought unbearable, you may want to seek an outsider’s help. A counselor for instance, can bring both of you together and make things much easier whatever the result.

Before you seek professional help, you should discuss the matter with your partner and try to reach a middle ground from where you can work on your relationship. Decide together if there is still a chance for the relationship to survive. If you both agree to try and heal the relationship then get started on the process with the help of a therapist.

If the relationship is beyond repair then you may still want to seek help to regain your own balance and peace of mind.

If she has made up her mind to move on, you will not be able to change that, so no tears, begging or false promises.

If this is heartbreak for you, you may need practical help to allow the wounds to heal. Counselling, hypnotherapy, EFT, or a fitness program can help.

“A mighty pain to love it is,

And ’tis a pain that pain to miss;

But of all pains, the greatest pain,

It is to love, but love in vain.” 

― Abraham Cowley

While it is true that the thought of your partner having an affair is crushing for you, you don’t have to overreact to make the situation any worse. Just finally knowing that an affair is happening can be the catalyst to repairing your relationship. Once you know what is happening you have the choice to get your relationship problems resolved before it’s too late. Just ask yourself whether you want to continue with the relationship or not and then take the necessary steps.


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